Take a bow

selfish?

2008-12-29T21:18:00.006+08:00

Selfish or Selfless

Selfish: Devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.

sorry for being selfish, i may be selfish at times,
because, i am not sure of it too,
perhaps, love is the reason.
perhaps, i am only caring for oneself, and concerned primarily.
perhaps, perhaps, perhaps,

Selfless: having little or no concern for oneself, esp. with regard to fame, position, money, etc.; unselfish.

Where am i standing? selfish, or selfless?
I have got no idea.

IstillLoveYouasmuch

Credited to : www.dictionary.com

2008-12-28T18:44:00.003+08:00

i am not as important.

I'm sorry

2008-12-28T00:29:00.003+08:00

I'm sorry

我的心好酸好酸.
我从来没想过, 也没有这个意识,
让您感到那么难过,实在是对不起。
从来没有，真的没有。
一直以来，你真的是我的唯一。
也从来没想过,我得逞了。
如果是说我有觉得我得逞了，那么那八天有怎么说?

i would say that this relationship really kept me going
really, i wouldnt lie.
you may say that all my words and typing are good,
but all the words, are definitely from the bottom of my heart

我好想你,　你知道吗？
你心里在想什么,　我根本都捉不着.
我真的好想你啊！
眼泪一滴一滴地在流,　你感觉得到吗？
爱在心里口难开可说的真对.
我真的好想往回以前啊，我好怀念．
我们在电话中有说有笑.
我可不想说,　还没开始就结束了.
我不要,　为什么我那么小胆，
胆小怕事的黄伟儫，　你去吃屎算了．
大白痴，　那么好的机会也不会保握．

baby, i would say that, you are my only,
will you ever forgive me?
accept my apologise?
have you really accepted my apologies even when you really said so?
i hope you do.

天有不测风云,人有淡细之祸．
这就像　＂默法不知勤读早,白日方悔读书.＂
意思说明，以前没做的事，现在才来后悔已是太迟了。

i cherish this relationship, i really do.
i know you want to be with me, like what i said to you,
i have been trying, really, really,
i fell right through the cracks, and now i am trying to get back,
after the lessons learnt.

我爱的她，怎么能说我不在爱你，
i still, love you as much as i love candies.
i still love you baby. i am wrong, i know.

Nightmares are scary, no?

2008-12-16T11:57:00.005+08:00

Nightmares are scary, no?

Wikipedia on nightmares: A nightmare is a dream which causes a strong unpleasant emotional response from the sleeper, typically fear or horror, being in situations of extreme danger, or the sensations of pain, falling, drowning or death. Such dreams can be related to psychological ones such as psychological trauma or stress in the sleeper's life, or can have no apparent cause. If a person has experienced a psychologically traumatic situation in life—for example, a person who may have been captured and tortured—the experience may come back to haunt them in their nightmares. Sleepers may waken in a state of distress and be unable to get back to sleep for some time.

Nightmares are one of the scariest thing that i am afraid of, it has been quite awhile since i have got nightmares, which means that during the period of time, where nightmares are not there, there ain't any experiencing on a psychologically traumatic situation.

And the period of time, where i started to have nightmares recently, basically means that, there is no sense of security, there is lack of something in my life, psycologically, someone isn't with my for the past few days, resulting me to have such mares. And i am really, afraid of nightmares now, facing nightmare is a terror to me every single day. Without fail, every single night, before i sleep, i will hope that there won't be nightmares during the sleep, hoping that you are safe over there, hoping you to come back soon, hoping that times flies during this period of 8 days.

Nightmares can enter your sleep even if you were to sleep for half an hour, it is really scary, this is damn scary, imagine, even half an hour of nap, can be disturbed by the nightmares, scary isnt it? What about nightmares that last for hours, full 6-8 hours of sleep, even when there are intervals where i woke up by the nightmares. Every different intervals, when i went back to sleep, there will be different nightmares entering the gate of dreams.

Finally, you are coming back today.
to be honest, during the 8 days of waiting
the first 4 days will be the toughest of all
cause there isn't anyone, to talk to,
i wouldn't dare to share with my parents, families
on how much i miss you.
and all i could do was to hide in a room.
having my mind full of you,
i have been calling for you.
worried for you.
and i guess that is my love for you.
how have you been?
have you been enjoying?
eating well?
sleeping well?
did you take care of yourself well?
did you smile everyday?
like what you asked me to do before you went off?
suddenly, the absence of you made me hard to adapt.
totally, i am in no mood to do anything.
i have been asking myself to busy with things.
so as not to miss you as much
but i couldnt.
i have been sleeping late at night.
2am, 3am, 4am, woke up at 7 for sch days
8,9 and 10 during my holidays.
i couldnt sleep well,
i couldnt rest well,
i have really been worrying for you.
China is not really a safe place.
is it cold over there?
and now you are coming back,
i have been prayying hard,
that the plane you are on is safe.
and also hope that you will contact me
the moment you touched down,
cause this basically means that you didnt forget me
i will be too happy to talk toyou,
cause it has been really long,
since i talked to you.
the 8 days are a real torture, i swear.
hopefully, you didnt forget me at all.
i have been looking at my handphone this 8 days
hoping that you will call,
message, i really hope to see that during the 8 days
my phone has been real quiet,
normally, it takes me to charge every 2 days,
but in this 8 days, i have only charge my phone for twice,
my friends in sch,
who have been noticing that my phone is usually busy.
recently, has become so quiet,
they even asked, is there anything that happened,
why is your phone so quiet,
i wouldnt want to tell them the answer,
i kept quiet, cause i am afraid,
once i am reminded of ur name, i will cry,
i really will, i am emotional, i agree.

now i pray for your safety.
please be back soon,
safely. i miss you.

Third day

2008-12-11T22:07:00.004+08:00

Its the third day alr,
hope you are fine over there.
enjoying?
did you ever miss me?

i do, i surely do.
and i have got to tell you,
i haven been enjoying myself
for the 3 days without the presence of you
missing you is one thing,
worrying will be the main issue over here.

wonder why do i miss you that much.
wonder why do i worry for you that much
i miss you because, you are the reason
on why you are missed by me.
Why do i worry for you that much,
and the reason being, again,
you are the one,
in singapore, you cant even get back
to your way from the toilet in a shopping mall
what about in other countries,
countries like china.
A big, not yet uncivilised country,
how can you expect me,
not worrying about your safety,

Apart of the country that you are in,
that makes me worry,
secondly will be the flight you are taking
is it safe?
are you feeling comfortable in the flight?
did you have enough sleep?
are you smiling everyday?
is the flight you are taking safe?
hope so.

you, are the one, revive my blog,
from the day you went oversea,
i really have got nothing to do.
i have been thinking alot.
i have been munching on alot of food
i don't know why, really.
i couldn't really slp much,
in my sleep,
there won't be any day,
i can sleep without having dreams,
without having nightmares, never.

notice how important you are to me,
but yet, i couldnt do anything.
i couldn't stop you from going thr.
the only thing i could do?
wait, 8 days,
192 hours.
11 520 minutes
6 91 200 seconds.
apart from waiting,
i have got to wish,
wish upon a star,
wish for your safety,
wish for your happiness
wish for your enjoyment in beijing
wish for you, that you will be back fast.
wish that you didn't forget to miss me.
haha,
well, the last sentence was just to cheer me up alittle.

just, i really miss you.
five days left, 120hours
7 200 minutes 432 000seconds left.
faster please

wish for your safety.

Second day

2008-12-10T19:38:00.002+08:00

10th December'08,
sudden urge to blog somehow.
p.yixuan was away from 9th December'08
returning on the 16th December.
And so, today is only the second day,
7 days left to her arriving,
it was only the second day, yet i couldnt get to sleep.
Till late hours, having nightmares.
I don't know why, times pass real slow.
I couldnt get to forget her.
The day since she left the sight of mine.
I hate the feeling of parting with her,
but i couldnt stop her from leaving.

I decieved myself, telling myself that,
the 8 days will pass real fast, but,
it was only the first day, yesterday,
when she left, i couldn't slp at night,
i had nightmares, i *****,
realising how much i miss her,
realising that i couldn't even afford,
to lose her.

Days passed real slow,
i have been carrying the letters that you gave me.
whenever i miss you, i will not hesitate to take a look at the letter
neither i will hesitate to take out my phone,
looking at the last message that you sent me, bidding me goodbye
telling me that you will not be able to share my thoughts,
my happennings with you, for the 8 days,
not being able to greet me twice a day,
sorrows ate me up,

Remembering, that you made my day always, without fail.
remembering how good you are to me,
remembering you nagging at me,
remembering the fights involving you and me,
remembering the misunderstanding between both of us.

I didnt forget it at all, it has been in my heart, deep down,
though the few months may be short, i am quite sure,
that deep down in my heart,
you have been tattooed on my heart, cannot be erased.

Hence, i am here to pen down my thoughts.
i may not be good to you,
but i have been really trying hard,
trying hard to find things to busy with,
when you are away, trying my best,
not to think about you that hard,
but i couldn't, i realise that you are really,
important to me.
Where are you exactly my dear.
How have you been?
Have you been enjoying?
i really would like to know,
whether you are safe over there or not.

I miss you,
i miss you calling me retard,
i miss your hokay, ogay,
the way you care for me.
i miss your laughter,
i miss your scolding.
i miss your naggings.

It's been the longest 8days without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you.
Understand?

Hope that you are fine over there,
hope that you are enjoying,
hope that you will reach singapore in no time
hope that the 8 days will pass real fast.
cause i really really miss you.

p.yixuan & n.weihao

Tomorrow is the day

2008-10-30T23:23:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow's route. You can do it WeiHao!. JIAYOU!
SELF NOTE: WEIHAO. YOU CAN DO IT!

baby. i really wish to be ur baby. you are sick, and i dont want to make it hard for you. rest well. its not the matter of relationship, though its important, but its the heart that counts yea? baby. you are really part of me, whatever you say, and whatever is your emotions, it will affect me, i want you to be happy. cheer up yea?

P.S hopefully my sister pass her driving test(TP) tomorrow.

imissyou. pyx.

Life is unpredictable and unfair

2008-10-29T11:50:00.000+08:00

It has been damn long since my last post, well.
i guess there won't be much peeps viewing at my blog.
its not that i want to blog. it's just that i do have the sudden urge to blog.
about recent happening.

There is this quote "when you fail to plan, you plan to fail" by my secondary friend, i find it kind of true. and i have been planning for my life ahead of me, as so i will not plan to fail.

But right after this happening, though i have had it planned, still, i failed.
Everything's so blurry, everyon's so fake. truly, i sincerely did something to proof to that person of how much that somebody is meant to me, and even planned to walk
her home.

That day, which was yesterday, i met her, walked her home, though i did really enjoy it, but right after that moment when she left, i do sense a feeling that she is no longer that close to me, i rather not meet her and stay close with her.
It has been really very long since i fall for someone, but this is when the feeling of rejection came. I would have described the feeling as being stabbed upteen times. It hurts, i did something, i planned to give it to her, but due to the shyness, i hesitated and failed to pass it to her, and from what i know, shyness is my current enemy.

P.Y.X, you should have known that i am really sincere about it, just that i am a coward who do not dare to show it to you. And can you clarify with me, on whether or not, you are still as close with me, or is it that you want to keep a distant with me. Tell me.

It has been the longest days without you.

I didn't know where to turn to

See somehow I can't forget you

After all that we've been through

I miss your text, i miss everything of yours, your smile and greetings

I have been dependent on your greetings to start the engine for the day.

You are just like a key, that could start the engine of the day.

You are just like sweet, sweet that i crave for often, which means that i miss you
as often as the sweets i crave for.

You have been part of my life, without me myself wondering.

I know i am not up to your standard, i am sorry, and i am willing to change.

Please, thoughts are running wild in my mind, thinking that you are no longer with my heart, you have moved far away from me since the day i walked you home.

Tell me that it is not true.

You could be my someone

you could be my scene

you know that i'll protect you
from all of the obscene

I wonder what you're doing

imagine where you are

there's oceans in between us

but that's not very far

I want to be your boy.

And i really do love you.

Tmr is Chinese A lvl, all the best to JCs students and esp to PHUA YIXUAN!

2008-09-08T21:54:00.000+08:00

hello freaking earthlings!!!

yes, long time no see eh?

hahas, these days i have been slacking my time away
and this is just my normal routine
=D

everyday i get up from bed,
i survive the day,
then i get back to bed
=]

cool eh?
HAHAHA

okayyy...
i have nothing to say now.
am speechless
because YOU are reading this.
yeap, i'm talking about you.
=]

byebye earthlings!!!

and, i'm not me in this post.
you know what i mean?
do you think weihao will be this lame?
i dont think so.
=\

Sorry readers

2008-08-16T13:30:00.000+08:00

Sorry readers, nv been posting for long.
was rather busy, with my bestfriend, the psp.
bought it on wednesday. wahahahs.
so happy la. well. i really dont like the feeling sial.
it has been 2yr plus 3 yrs.
i want to have a different feeling please! =D

Weihao, dont be sick!

2008-08-11T19:51:00.001+08:00

Weihao has been perspiring cold sweat. someone please help.
i don't want to be sick. seriously D=

WEIHAO, IAM DAMN DISAPPOINTED WITH YOU LA!

2008-08-11T18:02:00.000+08:00

argh shit. went to school as normal

Weihao is damn disappointed with himself today.

Today, the lesson was not as tough as others, so we played game more than doing of work =D

after sch, went to gym

wanted to start my run, but halfway running on the threadmill,

suddenly felt that as though i am going to be out of breathe

pressed the stopped button

WEIHAO, IAM DAMN DISAPPOINTED WITH YOU LA!

Vick, Syafiq, Jaffir, Me, Guna

Syafiq, Vick, Jaffir, me, Guna, Mas

Pork floss in the house.

2008-08-10T22:02:00.000+08:00

Had pork floss with the the the.

fried bean curd for dinner. looks nice though,

but dont really taste nice. =D

should i buy the psp???? 390Meso..

meso= $$ la sial.

nights reader!

Sunday, monday blues coming.

2008-08-10T15:06:00.000+08:00

The feeling is just not right. the feelings that i had for the past years were no longer there.
and i don't really like that. Those i used to have, no longer there anymore. guess that i have did something really wrong. This really link back to the Edge of Chaos. A small action done can lead to a big consequence, wished that time can be tuned back.

Yesterday, went amk hub, looked at the Matt Bronze psp, costs 390bucks. that was so expensive la sial. wonders if i should buy or not. as i was told that the price may still fluctuate. bought dinner hme, wanted to rushed back to watch the fireworks, too bad, was not able to watch. D=

Take a bow. This song is really nice and its worth looking at the lyrics.

How bout a round of applause? Standin ovation... Ooooh Yeah yeah yeah yeah
You look so dumb right now Standin' outside my house
Tryin' to apologize You're so ugly when you cry (Please)
Just cut it out
Don't tell me you're sorry cuz you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show You really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtains finally closin'
That was quite a show Very entertainin'
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone (You better hurry up)
Before the sprinklers come on
Talkin' bout "Girl, I love you you're the one..."
This just looks like a re-run (Please)
What else is on?

And don't tell me you're sorry cuz you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtains finally closin'
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now. Go on and take a bow

And the award for the best liar goes to you
For makin' me believe
That you could be Faithful to me
Let's hear your speech oh...
How bout a round of applause?
Standin' ovation... But you put on quite a show
You really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtains finally closin'
That was quite a show Very entertainin'
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow
But it's over now...

I feel that i looked so dumb right now, upon doing something wrong, i wanted to apologise. but i doubt the misunderstanding can be cleared off. well well. its alright. things going to be fine i guess. 船到桥头自然直。shall not be bothered because of this.

Tomorrow sch at 0900. blues are clouding my brian. hahs. but its alright la. tuesday shall be the last day, and here comes my hols. 3weeks =D. perhaps i should go and buy the pSp later ya.
hahas. take care peeps =D

Blue Blue, go away, come again another day. wish your children want to play.
Blue blue, go away =D

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY & THANKS KELROY =D

2008-08-09T14:40:00.001+08:00

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY & THANKS KELROY =D

Only then i knew. today is a Saturday, and i am rotting at home. And its NATIONAL DAY.

its a Saturday yet i am rotting. oh please. i want to get outta my house

oh well. this blog, though belongs to me, the hardworks goes to KELROY tha good friend. she is someone whom i had met not long ago, 6 mths ago or less, became my goodfriend out of a sudden. hah. that was so sudden la.

had lunch, well, sem going to end soon, seems like there will not be any more contact with my classmates, soon, they will become my ex classmates, though i wish to stay in contact with them.

Wooo. think i am going to chase my family out of the house, since its a Saturday, and we should go out at least! well,

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY & THANKS KELROY =D

TESTING!

2008-08-09T13:19:00.001+08:00

TESTING TESTING~!
TESTING TESTING~!
TESTING TESTING~!
TESTING TESTING~!
TESTING TESTING~!
TESTING TESTING~!
TESTING TESTING~!
TESTING TESTING~!
TESTING TESTING~!